i went on my first bona fide mountain bike ride yesterday it was vaguely terrifying i know you’re supposed to keep your eye on the line of the trail you want to follow and not on the obstacles you’re trying to avoid because your bike will go where your eyes go and yet sometimes it’s impossible not to stare at the rock in the middle of the trail the one you are trying to avoid because it seems dangerous not to look at it the way the trail was narrow and sometimes there were boulders on the edge threatening to catch my pedals and scrape me up when i tipped over on them which i did once when i panicked and didn’t get my feet on the ground soon enough too white knuckled to let go of the handlebars to push my glasses back up onto my nose at home later i realized my butt was sore but even worse so were those itty bitty parts further forward which makes me think of my friend who was given a clematis plant as a going away gift from her teaching job she stood up in front of her colleagues and thanked them for the clitoris plant big slip of the tongue i think clematis is a better name for that spot i hate those sorts of euphemistic references but i’m choosing one now i know i need to get my bike and seat adjusted given this soreness but i can’t figure out what to go in and say to the most-likely twenty year old male bike mechanic without seeming inappropriate indecent and just plain strange and then i wonder about the word clitoris and how i even hesitated to type it here i’ll admit the sound of the word itself doesn’t make my ears sing but i wonder if that’s really an effect of the way the sounds of the letters go together or because i’ve learned over my years of womanhood that it’s a shameful word people talk about penises all the time tell their buddies not to be a dick reference balls he busted my balls balls to the wall i’ve got him by the balls and we don’t even blink but we as women are shamed for our bodies our words for our body parts offensive dirty to be left unsaid only to be referred to in some sideways manner don’t think about it don’t talk about it don’t say it out loud and by all means don’t type it in your essay

Photo credit: Photo by kenny kutney on Unsplash

Chris ChandlerComment